Life Flipped Upside Down

Life can bring you so many wonderful things in life. But it can also take those wonderful things away, when you least expect it.

This blog is dedicated to my Mother, Vickie, who passed away May 17th, 2009.
I Miss You Mom!

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On May 11th I get this phone call from my father saying he needed me to come home, he was taking my Mom into the hospital. I immediately called Hun and he was able to bring me home to the hospital. We arrived around 6pm. At that point my Mom was pretty much out of it. Im going to skip alot of details because this is something I really dont want to relive. Tuesday I was able to talk with her and actually have a real conversation, which was nice, she said she loves me. Wednesday was not very good and Thursday wasnt any better. Wednesday Hun had to go back home because his pass from the red cross was about to expire, so he left. Thursday the doctor told us there was nothing he could do for my Mom, so we had a specialist come in and we transfered Mom to syracuse. The red cross was contacted yet again and Hun was able to come home on EML. Thursday she was transfered and another specialist took a look at her and also said there was nothing that could be done for her. She spoke to me again Thursday night, with family around helping getting her comfortable, and getting her show on the tv around 710pm she said to me "I want to go to bed" I told her she was in bed, then asked if she was tired, and she said yes and she wanted us to leave. So I told everyone lets go and told her I love her and she responded with "I love you too," That was the last time she said I love you to me. We got a call that she wasnt breathing to well so we had put her on life support hoping something would improve, now my Mom specifially told us in the past that if she had to be put on lifesupport and nothing could be done to take her off of it because she does not want to be a vegetable for the rest of her life. Saturday we had to make the decision to take her off of the life support with the knowing that she would not come out of it. From then on out it was a waiting game. My Mom held on all the way until Sunday at 1450. Thats when she let go.

Since then my life has been a mess. Ive been at my parents house since and will be for a few more days. Everytime I sit in the living room at look at my Moms chair I keep thinking shes going to be sitting there watching tv with me. I miss her so very much! She was my best friend. Last tuesday was her calling hours and I was very surprised by how many people came to say their goodbyes to her. Wednesday was her service, it was beautiful.

Hun went home lastnight so its just been me and my father. We both have our days and today seems like one of those that is just impossible to have. I cannot believe that Mom is gone, it seems like a nightmare, like I need to be pinched.

I cant properly greive it seems because of the baby, I dont want to hurt the baby and I know Mom wouldnt want that either. So when the time comes around Ill cry but not alot. When Mom passed the stress was unbareable at the hospital but I had to keep telling myself that I had to protect the baby. And thats what Ive been doing ever since.

Im ok, I have to be. But my Mom will never ever leave my heart, as long as it beats my Mom will be in my heart! And the memory of her will never be lost.

I Love You Mom, And I Miss You. Rest In Peace

Sheena
XoXo