Deployment Number 2

So....Hun was due to deploy yesterday, as most of you know. So Stormie and myself dropped him off and came home to get a nap and take a shower to go back to see Daddy before he headed off for a year. So we went back and spend a few short hours with him and said our goodbyes.



So Stormie got her final hug and kiss from Daddy....
And I got mine.


So....I wake up in the morning and of course like any normal Army wife I was very upset and alittle confused for half the day. Kept watching the clock for the normal times when Hun would call or come home, kept thinking he was in his normal spots where he relaxes and I kept looking out in the driveway thinking that Id see him walking in the door. I hadnt heard from him at all by this point. I finally got a call and I thought it was going to be to tell me they were leaving and to tell me he loved me and goodbye, but no I was very wrong, his flight was delayed, which seems like a blessing to any ordinary person because that means more time spent together but after you have already said your goodbyes it makes it a million times worse. I was very excited to go pick him up just to have that final hug and to feel him hold me even if it ment for only a couple more hours, even though I KNEW it would be that much harder to let him go again. So we spent some time together, the time the Army did give us, and I took him back to work and said a very very quick goodbye this time. Lastnight I didnt have that pit in your stomach feeling or the heartbroken feeling, I was content with the fact he was leaving even though I would miss him. But tonight....I had such a large pit in my stomach that it hurt and my heart felt like it was literally breaking in two. So I told Hun to take care of my heart because half of it was with him, and I didnt want it back til he was home again for good.


I feel like such a big baby about all of this but no matter how many times you said goodbye in a military career it NEVER gets any easier, no matter what people think, it only gets harder, it makes you think about the years you didnt get to spend together because of these deployments. Ya know, been there, done that type thing....but yes although I now know what to expect and yes i knew what I was getting myself into when I married this man but does that mean Im not allowed to miss him? I think I have every right. He is my best friend, my soulmate, my husband, the love of my life and I will miss him like Ive never missed anyone. I just pray for strength to carry on my everyday life with little disturbance so my daughter can have stability. She needs that now more then ever.


We will miss him terribly and he will hold my heart until he is boots down again in the states! Until then, I will cherish every coo, giggle and smile I get from my daughter, every cuddle from Zoey and Stormie and every hug from every kind face I know.


This house is not a home without him but i know before I know it hell be home bugging me all over again and well be a happy, complete family.


But for now, its bedtime for this tuckered out wife/mother/friend/sister/daughter and the list goes on....

Love Yall
XoXo

Changes....lots of Changes

As I sit here thinking of whats to come a lot of things come to mind.


As my daughter approaches were second month of life we prepare to say good-bye to a wonderful husband, father and friend. Hun is due to deploy anyday now. We are just sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear the date. He is deploying to Afghanistan for what we're hoping to be a shorter deployment then last time. Everytime I hear the word deployment my stomach gets in knots. I know that Im going to miss him terribly and worry fills my mind while I wonder if Im going to be able to handle being a Mommy and a Daddy for Stormie while her Daddys gone. I know he'll be safe because I believe in the training hes received and I know he has a good head on his shoulders. For a first time Mom of an infant its a scary thing to be left all alone while he goes away to serve his country. I worry about how I will move out of this area without Hun here to help me pack and move while Stormie is here, before it was easy because it was just me. But my little girl has needs that need to be filled and in my opinion her needs will be better met if we move to my fathers house, So I will figure out a way to make everything work.


As you all know I lost my Mother about 8 months ago now and she was my main support last deployment. She would sit up with me and talk to me as I cried because I was missing Hun so much. She would leave little notes in my lunches for me to read at work to make my day better. She would call me on my breaks to check on me and to tell me she loved me. She even learned how to text messege me and did so when she knew I was down. I miss her so very much, more and more with every passing day. And when I look into my daughers eyes I hope she never has to feel the heartbreak I felt when I lost my Mother. I dont know how I will survive this deployment without my Mom. I guess I will have to take it one day at a time. I know Stormie will keep me plenty occupied. I just hope I can give her all she needs and I hope I can be half the Mother my Mom was to me!


This deployment will provide my family with a lot of things that will help us in the years to come, and Im hoping(even though shes young) that Stormie will grow up understanding that her Daddy serves his country proudly and when duty calls he must leave, as much as it hurts us he loves us and will do whatever it takes to provide for us and make us safe. I also hope she learns patience with everything in life, and that nothing in life is handed to you, you have to work for everything you get.


Stormie is my whole life now, its not all about me. I have to give before I can take, and I will give her everything she wants, needs and deserves before I take those smiles, hugs and kisses that I hope I deserve.