Changes....lots of Changes

As I sit here thinking of whats to come a lot of things come to mind.


As my daughter approaches were second month of life we prepare to say good-bye to a wonderful husband, father and friend. Hun is due to deploy anyday now. We are just sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear the date. He is deploying to Afghanistan for what we're hoping to be a shorter deployment then last time. Everytime I hear the word deployment my stomach gets in knots. I know that Im going to miss him terribly and worry fills my mind while I wonder if Im going to be able to handle being a Mommy and a Daddy for Stormie while her Daddys gone. I know he'll be safe because I believe in the training hes received and I know he has a good head on his shoulders. For a first time Mom of an infant its a scary thing to be left all alone while he goes away to serve his country. I worry about how I will move out of this area without Hun here to help me pack and move while Stormie is here, before it was easy because it was just me. But my little girl has needs that need to be filled and in my opinion her needs will be better met if we move to my fathers house, So I will figure out a way to make everything work.


As you all know I lost my Mother about 8 months ago now and she was my main support last deployment. She would sit up with me and talk to me as I cried because I was missing Hun so much. She would leave little notes in my lunches for me to read at work to make my day better. She would call me on my breaks to check on me and to tell me she loved me. She even learned how to text messege me and did so when she knew I was down. I miss her so very much, more and more with every passing day. And when I look into my daughers eyes I hope she never has to feel the heartbreak I felt when I lost my Mother. I dont know how I will survive this deployment without my Mom. I guess I will have to take it one day at a time. I know Stormie will keep me plenty occupied. I just hope I can give her all she needs and I hope I can be half the Mother my Mom was to me!


This deployment will provide my family with a lot of things that will help us in the years to come, and Im hoping(even though shes young) that Stormie will grow up understanding that her Daddy serves his country proudly and when duty calls he must leave, as much as it hurts us he loves us and will do whatever it takes to provide for us and make us safe. I also hope she learns patience with everything in life, and that nothing in life is handed to you, you have to work for everything you get.


Stormie is my whole life now, its not all about me. I have to give before I can take, and I will give her everything she wants, needs and deserves before I take those smiles, hugs and kisses that I hope I deserve.